I am sitting alone in the dark, as I often am. I have “work” to do that I’m not doing. I have put aside this bit of time so that I can finish my novel, but I am having trouble knowing where to work, what to add, how to really get it done.
I wrote most of this about three years ago. I wrote some of this about 10 years ago! Holding a novel in one's head is surprisingly hard work. I feel too tired or scattered to unravel all of the pieces I’ve put down for three different books and which parts I’ve told or changed or plan on telling later. It’s a surprisingly intense mental effort. I don’t really know if I have a reason for why, but I just want this book to be great and to sell and to have someone tell me it was worth writing. It would mean a lot.