Thursday, October 30, 2008

McMonopoly: "I'm Losin' It"

For those of you without your McCalendars handy, we are in Week 3 of the 2008 McDonald's Monopoly game. (If you don't know what this is about, you can educate yourself on the topic on your own time using the greatest reference known to man,, then come back here and read the rest.)

For many of us Die-Hard monopoly fans (I use the 1st person plural, here) this is an exciting annual event where a classic American board game involving fake money and dumb luck is paired with the international icon of American sloth and gluttony. And big macs.

The biggest difference in McOpoly this year (that's mine, by the way, I just made it up but I am registering it as soon as I finish typing this) is that you can not only play it with the old-school paper tear-off "game pieces" tabby-things, you can also play online! Well, that and the grand prize is reduced from $5 million to a $1 million annuity paid out over 20 years, which, using the present value of an annuity formula:

PVoa = PMT [(1 - (1 / (1 + i)n)) / i]

We can determine to be, approximately, something much less than $1 million dollars. (Do your own math, I'm busy.)

All that being said, I am on my 24th consecutive day of eating only McDonald's food -but not just any food- you see, they've tied the tear-off paper pieces ONLY to what he wants you to buy, Big Mac, Large Fries, Large Coke, that kind of stuff. "He" being the clown, of course.

At any rate, I did a little searching to see why I haven't won yet, and I learned this bit of interesting knowledge: my odds of winning are actually “approximately 1 in 184,698,474,” To give that any sort of comparison, the oft-quoted odds of getting struck by lightning are 1 in 244,000. So, I am actually 75 and a half times MORE likely to get struck by lightning than to win the million dollar McOpoly® prize.

You see, the little paper bits are rigged. There's nothing random about it. They're all distributed "randomly" except for 1 piece of each set, the most famous being Boardwalk, of which there are 3. In the world. And don't fool yourself by thinking, Well, I can still win the online prize. That's rigged, too!

The same properties you can't win in "Real Life," namely the last property in each set listed alphabetically and Boardwalk, you can't win online. The code you put in on each paper bit to roll the virtual dice determines where you can land. The Clown has successfully taken all of the fun out of the fake money and dumb luck game that so many Americans have cherished.

In summary, with the 2008 McOpoly® Game, the only Real Winners are the people that did not realize the Game was happening, Collected no game pieces, did not pass Go, and did not endure the ultimate price of contest entry- 1 month of eating reheated burgers and greasy fries.
--Shawn Butler

Oh, and the attribution for the awesome McSticker above is that superhero of the blogosphere, Steve Sneeds. The equally awesome McJoker image is from a post on

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Heroes Season 3 = Season 1 Repeated

I kept thinking 1 thing as I watched the 2nd Episode of Season 3...
Have the writers already run out of ideas for powers?
I mean, we've got another guy that shoots fire, another guy that can miraculously heal, and another guy that can paint the future.
And About Monica's power... please see this article-->
I'm not alone in this sentiment.
A Heroes Authority, SmellyPirateHooker, said,
"Who is saying that the painter is just a rehash of season 1? This entire show is just a rehash of season 1. Someone time travels, sees a bleak future, and comes back to stop it and a painter makes absolute visions of the future that take all the suspense out of things. It's this show's MO."
I mean, come on, Tim Kring. You're what, 25 episodes into the series, and you're re-using powers like crazy?! To support this statement, I was forced to research and open up excel sheets. You jerks better appreciate this. Below, I present my findings...

Heroes Super-Power Repeats:
(Source: Of course.)
Painting the Future: ·Isaac Mendez ·Usutu the African guy
Super Memory Skills:
·Charlie (who works at a Diner) ·Monica (who works at a Diner)
Pyrokinesis (Making Fire):
·Meredith (Claire's Mom) ·Flint (the Convict guy from Lvl 5)
(To distinguish these two, his is blue while hers is fire-colored)
Cellular Regeneration (Super Healing): ·Claire Bennet ·Adam Monroe
Telepathy: ·Matt Parkman ·And his Dad
Flying: ·Nathan Petrelli ·Claire's boyfriend, West
Collecting Other People's Powers: ·Peter Petrelli ·Sylar

And Now Let's Just be REALLY Honest...
Re-hashed Repeats of Already-Used Superhero Powers:
·The German Magnetic Guy = Magneto
·Claire and Kensei = Wolverine
·Parkman and his dad = Professor X
·Jesse the Convict = Banshee
·Claire's Mom = Human Torch
·Daphne = A female Flash
·Tracy Strauss = girl version of Ice Man
·Nathan Petrelli, West Rosen, & Niki Sanders = Are All Really Just Trying to Be Superman

Which reminds me of my un-published Season 2 take-away...
The only difference between Heroes in the Present and the Heroes in the Future = Hair Gel.

Hey Tim Kring, I got a great suggestion for your next Super Hero Power... How about when Mohinder gets angry, I mean REALLY angry, he grows larger, rips out of his shirt and gets super-strength! And he turns Green. --Shawn Butler

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