Shawn's Bail-Out Plan

Everybody's getting in on it! Bernanke has a plan. Paulson has a plan. McCain has a plan. Obama is working on a plan. Bush... well, I just hope Bush is working on anything. Ryan Peeler has a brilliant plan that will both inject the economy with cash and determine the next president.

Even those Libertarian Madison Avenue-types are getting onboard the Bail-Out planning bus, albeit for different reasons:
But don't worry, even ACTUAL recession won't reduce the Ad Industry's precious consumer spending, let alone RUMORS of recession.

Remember that spike 9 days ago when your mutual fund bounced back and things didn't look so bad? What the NYTimes reported as "the stock market soar[ing] last week on rumors that there would be a bailout." RUMORS, people. Stay with me, here.

And this morning, Goldman shares jumped back towards their pre-Lehman Brothers price just on rumors of Warren Buffet's $5 billion or $10 billion dollar investment. Again, RUMORS.

So JEC Chairman Chuck Schumer (Sen. D-NY) says "Americans are furious" about the price tag on the current plan for bail-out. The people are getting angry--furious--but absolutely nothing has been done, yet. So far it's just talk. Just RUMORS that things are going bad, RUMORS that things are going to get worse.

So, if the largest obstacle to approving the bail-out is the price tag and the strongest force on the US economy today is the rumor mill, I propose a 100% Free Plan to bolster the economy, save the struggling markets and stimulate America's move back to a happy, ignorant, credit-based, stable financial economy.

We need to start the rumor that everything is going great. I recommend it start with a speech from the White House-- George Bush puts one arm around McCain and another around Obama and he tells the cameras that "They'd miscalculated. Bernanke did his math wrong. Everything's good. Going great."

Then we shoot this via satellites and internet, and of course, YouTube, over to Europe and Asia and they hear that the US economy is fine, that the "crisis" was just a "bank error," and it renews the confidence of global financial markets who are quick to swoop up the deals of the weakened dollar, buying more Converse shoes and Michelin tires.

Finally, I suggest we get some people on megaphones to stand around on Wall Street and read government reports on how much more ethanol fuel we produced, how many more pairs of boots, and how much higher our standard of living is compared to years past. We could put a few Squeelers right on the steps of the Capitol building. Just to remind everybody that times are good and that you're not really in as much debt as you think you are.

Either that, or admit that the threat of recession and the entire subprime mortgage crisis was a trick to get Sen. McCain out of Friday night's debate with Sen. Obama.

But more importantly: The Browns are gonna go with Anderson again this week. Anderson! Let's just say we're a country that loves a losing streak.

Mitt Is It! Romney for President 2008

This Man Has the Ability to Lead America Out of the Slump Created by the Last Four Presidential Terms.

America needs a President that we can look up to. The World needs an American President that is leading the global community in intellect, integrity, and mutual respect. Romney brings back to the White House traditional American values, confident integrity, solid morals, and a platform that understands America's needs. He plans to execute an effective foreign policy that will end the "War" in the only way it can end, a decisive American victory and the long-term stabilization of a local government in Iraq.

I am tired of being embarrassed for the policies, demeanor, and scandals of our nation's leader. I am hard-pressed to understand why anyone would cast their vote for more of the same policies, demeanor, and scandals that we have endured over the past 7 years embodied in the other major candidates in both parties with exception of Obama, from whom I am not sure what to expect. But that is my issue with him, he has no record from which to extrapolate a "what to expect".

If you agree with Mitt Romney's ideas for America, and like me, are tired of suffering humiliation in the global community for our elected leader, then join Mitt on his website MittRomney.com and let him know that you believe in him.

Or you should buckle up and look forward to four more years of this:

On Turning 28: Perspective

This week I turned 28. I had a very small celebration, entirely because my wife planned it, got others involved and did it for me. If it were up to me, I am through with birthdays. Which I think has worked out for me. My daughter was born on my birthday, which I happily spent in the hospital with my hand being squeezed in my wife's as I shouted out encouragements about her breathing and pushing. At any rate, I believe I have effectively solved my problem of ever celebrating my birthday again.

I did, however, buy myself a birthday present. An expensive piece of electronics. I exhibit only a few of the classic Machismo behaviors, I don't use profanity, ESPN bores me, and I think beer-drinking is laughably stupid. But one man-trait I exhibit shamelessly is a passion for the electronic. I love technology. Tying in my birthday and the birth of our daughter created the necessary justification to indulge my inner hombre and I bought a video camera.

But that does not do it justice. What I bought is a Panasonic GS-320 Mini-DV Camcorder, and yes, that is another man-mannerism, it made me feel powerful and cocky to type out all those numbers and dashes. That's why girl items have soothing names, like Easyglide and Pearlmax, but boy items have Part Numbers and Product Codes, because men love numbers. And complications.

So now I have begun video taping things. And I find this fulfilling. There is a part of me that feels very satisfied when I am holding the camera and the red light is flashing. Something primal is comforted knowing that these moments; the words, inflections, miniscule motions of face and body are being captured and retained. It is a sense of reassurance that passing time IS something important. That it SHOULD be valued and held on to. It is sad that early man ( i.e.- man before the invention of the camcorder) was unable to experience this satisfaction. So it goes...

Perspective Part 2

Before Digital, cameras worked very differently. One could not see what he was recording on a 2" Liquid Crystal Display. There was no instant replay or rewind. Taking a picture was a supreme act of faith and an exercise in commitment. The image was captured, handed down from the eye of the camera and pressed resolutely and inalterably into the film. With Digital, every picture can be reviewed for approval, and without film being wasted, there is no sense of consequence. There is no metaphor in digital imaging. There is no "Cause and Effect," no "Reap What You Sew" moral lesson to be learned.

With film cameras, we still had the element of chance. There was an aspect of danger in photography. You could come out of that photo shoot with literally anything. There was no such thing as a perfect picture. This is much more akin to life=

Sometimes you can do everything exactly right. Fill up a whole roll of film. Drop it off at the store, come back in a week to pick it up, and find twenty-four images of fuzz and darkness. Like you were photographing Big Foot. With the film crew from "Blair Witch."

Life is like a film camera. I can set up the model, check the lighting, check my camera and do everything exactly the way I think it is supposed to work. Then Click. The picture is captured just as it was, whatever combination of light, distance, shutter speed, movement, etc. that occured at that moment has been compiled onto the rolling celluloid of the film canister and there's nothing I can do about it except just keep going. Aiming my camera, pointing and clicking. Some shots are arranged, like fruit in a bowl or a family portrait, while others are candids, a flashbulb halting the scene in the midst of the action and holding it still.

When the roll is filled, it has to be developed. I won't know what the pictures look like until I've gained some time perspective. When the photos are developed, I can see that "oh, I wasn't smiling" or "her eyes were closed" or "wow, there was a rainbow right behind us," but by then, the scene is set and inalterable. The moment has been through the stop bath and rinsed in hypo. As I proceed in life, I have no way of knowing what is coming next. But I have a ready camera, a half exposed roll of film, and stacks of albums filled with the things that have gone right and wrong in the past. Entire books of the things we call "Life Lessons" that can be pulled out and shared with others with a story beginning "Here is something I did wrong..." or "Here's one that went right..."

I noticed that every good blog has a numbers list, here's mine-

IN LIFE:

Tip #25 Never try to do the things you see on TV in your own home

Tip #24 Always check your order before leaving the drive-thru

Tip #23 Don't stress over things that you can't change or don't understand

Tip #22 When using blades, always apply motion away from one’s self

Tip #21 Before using the toilet, make sure it works and has plenty of toilet paper

Tip #20 Never speak badly of others, especially when they’re not around

Tip #19 Model yourself after people you know, not after people you see on TV

Tip #18 Treat everyone like they are the most important person in the world

Tip #17 Help someone at least once a day. Try to keep it a secret.

Tip #16 Remember that You determine your own happiness

Tip #15 Go to bed when you’re tired

Tip #14 Stop eating when you’re full

Tip #13 Always wash fruits and vegetables before you eat them

Tip #12 Chew your food

Tip #11 When you’re hungry, prepare a meal, then sit down and eat it.

Tip #10 Be generous with your compliments

Tip #9 If you're not sure about something, ask

Tip #8 No matter who you work for, you’re your own boss and best customer

Tip #7 Before anyone else can love you, you have to be able to love yourself

Tip #6 Always give time to listen to what others have to say

Tip #5 Pay off your debts before you acquire any new ones

Tip #4 Write “thank you” notes. For anything.

Tip #3 If you are an impulsive shopper, learn to keep your receipts

Tip #2 Do what you know is right, even if nobody sees it

Tip #1 Pray to God, but lock your doors.