Saturday, March 31, 2007

Summer of Threequels, or "3=XP"
(Three Equals Sucky)

This Summer is the Summer of Threequels. This word may be made up but it is supposed to mean the 3rd movie in a trilogy, usually containing the number 3 in the title. For Whatever Reason, the Summer of 2007 will be full of the releases of really bad movie Threequels. Here is my list of movie Threequels released (or planned for release) this summer and the review (or expected review) of each:

List of Threequels in Summer '07:
Pirates of the Caribbean 3 - Not quite as bad as 2, but nowhere near as good as 1.
Shrek 3 - Why are they still making these?
Spiderman 3 - Why so many villains? Why so many unresolved conflicts? Why so many flashbacks?
Rush Hour 3 - Wow. The world could have lived without this entire series.
Ocean's 13 - Should be called "Ocean's Eleven 2" and we can all just pretend Ocean's 12 never happened.
Bourne (#3) Ultimatum
- Wow. I did not know people could be killed with produce.
& the 1 that doesn't even know it's a Threequel= Surf's Up
or Animated Penguin Movie #3
Some Might Call it a Stretch, but I Label Surf's Up as the 3rd in another Trilogy:
It's the Threequel to The Year Shia LeBeouf Dispels his Disney Channel persona a la JT and Xtina by Being in Real Movies Series. In case you missed it, the first 2 installments to this Trilogy were Disturbia and Transformers. Even Steven has been busy in 2007.

Some movies are good enough that there needs to be a sequel. Some even deserve a whole series. But in most cases, it is pretty understood that movies should stop after 1. Here is my brief list of movies that should have stopped at 1 but did not:

Brief List of Movies with Really Bad Threequels:
Back to the Future 3
Batman (#3) Forever
Superman 3

(To Be Continued)

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